Minutes of Meeting for December 27, 2018
Call to Order: Bill E. led us in the Pledge and then we sang God Bless America.
1. Hostesses: Barb L. and Susan D. Barb reports 34 in attendance today.
2. Vice President: Debbi S.: We are at 118 members.
3. Secretary (temporary in Kristi’s absence): Everything was OK with the minutes.
4. Treasurer: Walt R.: Walt confirmed that we have $248 in the bank and $6.02 in petty cash. Walt had to write a check for $9 to make up the coffee.
Please people, remember to put your money in the pot for coffee, etc. It’s $2.00 for a cup of coffee which includes all refills; $1.00 for iced tea and $1.00 for sweets. Even if you just have a glass of water, please put a little something in the bucket.
Walt was then surprised by being presented with a plaque by Bill and Jorge for being Member of the Year – he was then presented with the bill for the frame!
5. Coordinators’ Reports:
Sunshine: Marie Moore is out of hospital but has been told to take it easy. She is trying to do less and focus on her recovery.
Activities:
See activities listed below. Note: When you sign up for an activity, please let whoever oversees that activity know whether you’ll make it. It’s embarrassing if you tell a place that 30 or 40 folks are coming to a function, so they set up for that, get extra help for that and then only 20 or so show up. Please remember to RSVP if you are going to attend something and to let the person in charge know if you can’t make it. This is particularly important when we have something like the Opry in February which has 40 people signed up AND a waiting list! Thanks.
Thought(s) for the day – Sandy
Health does not always come from medicine. Most of the time it comes from peace of mind, peace in the heart, peace in the soul. It comes from laughter and love.
A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.
An optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel.
A realist sees a freight train.
The train drivers sees three idiots standing on the tracks.
6. Group Concerns/Good of the Group
ü Julie Gazdzik is collecting coupons from newspapers and magazines to send to troops and their families abroad. In the commissaries, they will accept coupons six months beyond the expiry date! Julie is trying to partner up with a US base in the UK so that we can send the coupons direct to the base. Here are the rules for clipping the coupons:
· From manufacturers for individual products; examples include items like soup, pasta, or toothpaste.
· Not for individual stores - coupons for individual stores cannot be used.
· Clipped out individually.
· Packaged in sandwich or quart-size plastic bags
· Separated into food, non-food, baby, and pet baggies (the military advises they will recycle unsorted coupons due to lack of manpower).
ü Wally and Julie Gazdzik are still collecting gently used towels and blankets for the Humane Society of Southern Arizona. Julie read where they need these for all the rescued and abandoned pets that they get there. So please go through your linen closets and see what you can come up with for a very worthy cause.
ü Dennis Foster is still collecting your empty pill bottles for the Pima Animal Care facility. They need them to give out to folks who may adopt or foster dogs/cats who may need medication when they leave their facility. PACC have confirmed that they only want the small prescription bottles.
ü Madga is still collecting tabs from mainly soda cans. At this time last year, she had 7 bags. This year, she has only 5 bags!
ü A rattlesnake has been seen recently. Please be careful when picking up anything in your yard – the snakes also like to go under the house during the winter. Wally recommended the product called Snakeaway and said that he had spoken to the staff at Home Depot in Marana who had been very helpful.
ü Continental Ranch Community (and surrounding areas) has a Veterans club that meets monthly. All military veterans are welcome to join us for fellowship and friendship. We meet the third Sunday of every month at the Continental Ranch Community Center, 8881 N. Coachline Blvd., from 6pm to 8pm. We usually have a guest speaker every month. Our next meeting is 20 Jan 2018. Our guest speaker of the month will be the folks that train the service dogs for veterans. They plan to bring one of their student dogs. For further information contact: Keith Jones, Vet group VP at (520) 490-7880
7. Various jokes from today’s meeting:
COSTCO DOCTOR
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, 'My elbow hurts like heck. I guess I'd better see a doctor.'
'Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies.
There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample, and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - a lot cheaper than a doctor.
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco.
He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: ‘You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
Thank you for shopping @ Costco'
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results.
He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant -- Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
Thank you for shopping @ Costco!
Redneck Vacation
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation, Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different! The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earline didn't get pregnant again." Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?" Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earline with me."
Life Altering Accident
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."
The man perks up. So, the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?" "Yes I have," says the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?"
"Yes" says the man.
"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.
"We're getting granite counter tops."
Lovable Louise, The Inflatable Love Doll–story can be found here - https://tinyurl.com/y88rtocl
8. Adjournment: Bill E.: Bill adjourned the meeting at 9.55 AM.
